Saturday, April 18, 2009

Aaahhh... its been a while since I've been on here to write... school, the family, trying to make some last memories before i leave, homework, and my daily workout routine has been distracting me from such pleasures as writing down my thoughts, but i know i should, so... this is my attempt at getting back into the routine of blogging before i must say farewell in a short 5 weeks when i leave for boot camp... uuuuggghh. Boot camp... 3 months long, with blistering heat and a humidity index of 105 degrees Fahrenheit, about 12 hours away from my family, with no way of communication to/from home except through hand written letters back and forth, oooohh, and the sand flees, that's going to be a lot of fun too I'm sure. I'm not going to lie... it's going to be the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I have to do it. It's the ultimate test I must go through in order to prove to my superiors and commanding officers that I am worthy of being called a United States Marine.

So, i thank God for my supportive family, and the closest person to me left on this earth, my big sis Kellie Michelle =]] She's been a huge source of motivation, insight, and wisdom when it comes to ... well, pretty much everything. In times that I have doubted my ability to really go through with this whole Marine Corps business, she's been there to encourage me to keep fighting through the rough times and to press on towards my goals... teaching me that the reward at the end will mean so much more to me if I have to struggle to reach it. She's really helped me with following through on my dreams, and making me stay the course and learning self discipline at the same time.... soooo, thanks big sis =]]

Last week was our mom's birthday... April 11th she would've been turning 46, haha, oh god... how she would've hated the sound of that. She hated the sound of her "old" age, and stopped counting long ago. Never wanting a birthday party to remind her that every year she was one year older, but her kids wouldn't let it go at that... I can remember one year, a while back, we had a surprise birthday party for her at Mamma Lorraine's house in Girdletree, inviting all of her friends and then some... and.... she didn't complain one bit. She was too busy laughing and carrying on with her surrounding family and friends that had planned the night out to a tee, all for her. Which was usually the case with mom. She was always laughing, if not smiling... crying from laughing most of the time. haha.... Aaaaahhh, those were the good ol' days indeed. Every year, Kell and I have a traditon of going out to Zia's Italian Restaurant in Bury and catching a movie that we think our mom would've liked to see... somethine cute and funny, without any drama or tense "icky" feelings afterwards. This is how we spent our Mom's last birthday together when she was still alive. Just us 3 ladies, a night out on the town, and in great company. We relive this memory not just to do something every year, but to celebrate a life that was not wasted, to feel closer to mom, and to spend quality time with each other; which is what mom would be wanting us to do until the day we die. So i sincerely hope that I'll never have to miss our yearly outing on April 11th, because it not only means the world to me... but I'm sure it means the world to mom too. Even though my duties with the Marine Corps will take me far away from home at times with the war in the Middle East, I'll always keep comin back home... because, as i've said before... my home is where my heart is, and my heart is with my family. ♥

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