A Colonel's Hands...

His hands have been used for war, for love, for making memories none could strip from his mind.

Fighting along side infantry Marines in Vietnam... training his hands for war, his M-14 rifle for caliber. "Every Marine is first and foremost a rifleman." ...the war has been won... he's going home.
He comes home to his wife, embracing his family with open arms, and rugged hands that have been worn by the battles of his time. She is pregnant, almost due... he will learn how to fight new battles once his baby girl is born.
But he is an officer, called away at a moments notice when needed. He's not there to fight every battle for his little girl, but he shows her how to fend for herself when mommy and daddy are not by her side.
With the hands that were once used for war, he uses to build a sand box, a doll house, and a playground for his "princess". "If life were always this easy.", he thinks to himself...
The years role by, and after 28 years in service to his country, and training countless Marines for battle, he retires as a Colonel. The hands that were once trained for expert rifle shooting, for hand to hand combat, and for leading Marines into weary battle zones, are now given a rest.
He doesn't stop his service to his country there... he goes on to serve his community as the commanding officer for a Marine Corps Junior Reserve Officer Training Corps (MC JROTC) unit at a local high school.
Nowadays, his hands are not used for war... but for instilling wisdom, character, integrity, and commitment in high school students who may one day, become part of the fighting forces of America.
This is my instructor, my mentor from earlier years, the USMC Colonel that has seen war at its worst, seen men die under his command, and still... he never gave up on me.
I owe alot to him...

on the left: Colonel J. R. Siegel
on the right: Sergeant Major R. Trostle

Against All Odds...

Sitting in a class room of 30 plus people, sometimes you can get side tracked... once you
start looking around you you're able to take in the characteristics and
physical qualities of the people you find yourself learning along side of. The
view may be wonderful and pleasant, and in other class rooms, the people
surrounding you may make it not so pleasant. We are a people who judge our
fellow men way too quickly by just the outward appearance, and long before we
have ever even met them, we start to form a judgment about them that most likely isn't legit
in the end. We tend to let our eyes rest upon those who are the more physically
friendly people... the ones who are outwardly beautiful, who look like they
have it all together, and those who are within a good body weight even. By
looking at these outward traits alone, nobody could ever be able to tell
whether or not that person is a legitimately "good" person, whether
they actually know what they're doing or not, or if they have a sincere and passionate
attitude about life. If we walked into a class room and half the room was full
of "beautiful" people and "homely" people, I’m ashamed to
say that we'd all most likely go sit on the "beautiful" side of the
room so as not to feel so awkward or retarded if we had sat on the unpopular
"homely" side. Instead of trying to make friends with everyone
possible, we quickly judge the other side of the room and start to feel sorry
for them... whether they're over weight, they look like they haven't showered
in days, if their clothing is completely out of style, and if they don’t have a
single "attractive" feature about them. Any or all of these reasons
make us feel automatically sorry or embarrassed for them, and we wash our hands
clean of them and don’t even try to introduce ourselves. Our thought here, is
"who wants to associate themselves with a social outcast??”



Our judgments are very shallow indeed... we go on the social belief that
"more thin is better", "faster is better", "smarter is
better", "style is better", and "more money is
better"... so we get caught up in making our quick judgments of the
individuals surrounding us, accordingly, and we don’t give it a second thought
unless we absolutely have to. How is one to tell whether a person is genuine
and kind though? Has a good heart? Would make an excellent
friend/boyfriend/girlfriend? Can make you laugh? Be a good inspiration? Make a
great role model? The thing is... you WOULDN'T know. You won't ever know the
depth of an individual's character unless you talk to them, unless you listen,
and unless you don't make the mistake by forming an awful opinion about them
before you've even gotten the chance to meet them.



Motivation is something I have a tendency to lack from time to time... and it's
only the closest people to me that know this retarded fact about me. If people
were to take me at face value, they would judge me to be a very passionate,
motivated, inspirational chick, or as my recruiter likes to call me, "his
moto dog". Don't get me wrong, I AM a very passionate person, but I don't
always follow through with my crazed passions or "one week notions" when
it comes down to bettering myself. I can get excited about something extremely fast,
but I can also get stressed and annoyed with it even faster and let it slide
under the rug like it was never in my life to begin with. I know now that if
you really ARE passionate or motivated about something, like reaching one of
those amazing goals you've written down on that list, you have GOT to follow
through with it. You can't just let it go, slack off, and give it up when the
going gets rough and it's getting harder to reach what you’re shooting for. Stress...
stress is like the devil to me. If I get too stressed out about the stuff I have
to overcome to get to where I want to go, I’ll let it ruin my plans for a
better future, and I’ll never be a successful individual with high aspirations
for myself. I’ll always let IT beat my ass before I can kick its ass and say,
"to hell with it, I can't do it". But that's just the thing... I CAN
do it. I, we, can do anything we put our minds to... as long as we stick with
it and see it through until the end.



I’ll never forget him... in our society he'd be on the "homely" side
of the room, and nobody would ever know how strong of a character he has, or
that he has an amazing goal for his life just like we all do. Everybody who looks at
him can only see the wheel chair he's in, see the over-sized glasses he wears
on his face, see that his hands don't
look quite like ours, and hear his words as they come out in fumbled,
disarrayed sentences. His name is Michael, and he has cerebral palsy. He's in
one of my classes at college, and I can't believe that he's there, studying
just as hard, if not harder than any other student on the whole campus. The teacher
tells us to introduce ourselves to one another for the last 5 minutes of
class... that last 5 minutes changed my whole outlook and attitude on school,
my goals, and why I’m there in the first place. He's had cerebral palsy since
he was a young kid, stuck in a wheel chair for pretty much his whole life. He
enjoys learning about sociology and can’t wait to learn more. He's right
handed, but because his disease has almost crippled the movement of both of his
hands completely, he's had to teach himself how to write with his left hand. His
family feeds him, dresses him, and is by his side almost 24 hours of the day. Despite
all of these obstacles, he still has a goal... to one day become a child's counselor/therapist.
This is his 2nd year of college, and he's well on his way to succeeding,
against all odds. He won't give up, and that is what separates him from the
"beautiful" side of the room, and what makes him a better individual
than all the rest. We judge success on outward looks and pleasure, but Michael
judges it on how far he's come already, and judges his passion by his attitude
that he'll never give up fighting for his dream to come true. HE is a beautiful
individual... with a good heart, strong motivation, and a happy countenance
that you rarely see in people nowadays.



This is where we have failed as a people... we judge too quickly and so ridiculously
that we aren't able to stop and smell the roses... there's something refreshing
about a human being who isn't a "plastic barbie" or a petty
"G.I. Joe". We never realize that the so called "homely"
side of the room is worth so much more of our time, admiration, and commitment
than the fake "beautiful" side of the room. If I had spent the
last 5 minutes of that class talking to the hottest guy in the room it would
get me nowhere... nowhere at all. Maybe a phone number and some short laughs...
but what would you rather have... a phone number for what's his face? Or the
motivation and new belief that you could do anything and everything you wanted,
without a doubt. The inspiration to keep going even when it gets stressful and
tiresome, and a hope for bigger and better things yet to come...? I’m pretty
darn sure I'd choose the 2nd option, thank you...



I seriously doubt that I would've found this motivation anywhere else... I know
what I have to do, I know how stressful it's going to get out there, and I
know how much work I’ll have to do to succeed... but you don't obtain anything
in life unless you're willing to work for it… and I’m sure as hell bent on
gettin where I’m goin... thanks to Michael... and he probably doesn't even know
how much he’s inspired me to finally follow through with something that has
meaningful value in my life.



Bottom line, don't falsely judge those around you just because their outer
appearance isn't kind to your eyes... you never know who's heart is kinder,
who's ways are stronger, or who's personality is more agreeable unless you talk
to them first hand, and listen to what they've got to say.

What more could i want???

Almost 3 am, and I'm still awake from the most enjoyable day that I've had with my big sis, Kellie, in a long, long time. Words cannot describe how our day went. Perfection doesn't come close... And why am I still up you might be asking yourself? It's quite simple... Today's events were quite enjoyable, grand, and adventurous indeed... I just HAD to write about them. You can decide to keep reading, or not to. But I'm definitely going to keep writing, so feel free to read on =]
From starting out the day with a hot cup of coffee with my sister's newly bought vanilla caramel flavored Coffee Mate and a 2 hour session of watching Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen on the laptop as we snuggled under an amazing blanket... up until about an hour ago after we finished watching Ground Hog Day and ate a delectable desert we brought home from Carrabba's Italian Restaurant when Kellie yelled for me from her bed to come and protect her from a spider that had found his way onto the ceiling across the bedroom from her. "It's going to hurt me." she said... so what choice did I have but to save the damsel in distress and kill the rude spider that thought it a good idea to come into THAT particular room tonight?? His fate was sealed from the moment my sister laid her eyes on him... unlucky son of a gun, today just wasn't his day.
What a great way to begin and end the day, right?? Well that's not all that happened on our lovely Friday... please, read on.
After our morning cup of coffee and dose of Hell's Kitchen, we decided to hit the Bakery here in town to buy a loaf of bread that would go well with our dinner tomorrow night. We also wanted to go explore a hiking trail and a beautiful water fall that she had read about that was only about 15 miles up the road from Bel-Air, so we packed a hearty picnic in hopes of finding "Rock Park" and eating our lunch there. As we entered the bakery the smell of countless sweets filled our noses. Cakes, pies, cookies, apple and strawberry turnovers, chocolate bars, cream cheese danishes, pecan logs... you name it. Anything with a trillion calories and with a promise of a cavity or two in the days ahead, filled the inside of this tiny little bakery, everything EXCEPT a simple loaf of bread. Strange? yes... Disappointing? Heavens no!! We swiped a pecan log and a cream cheese danish off the counter, paid, and we were on our way to, where?? THE MALL!! The date for a new hair cut was long past due, and I couldn't stand my hair any longer, so we went to the local mall, I got myself a quick trim, and then we were off again. On to Rock Park to have our lunch and enjoy some of God's natural beauty in creation.
To the tunes of Plumb, Alter Bridge, the Foo Fighters, Sting, 12 Stones, and many more bands' tunes that floated into our ears as the drive went on, we made our way in to the more mountainous area of Maryland where the farms and trees grew in number, and the beauty only got richer as we went on. At some point in the early stage of our adventures of the day it began to sprinkle... drop, drop, RAIN. But this didn't detour us one bit. If we didn't want to get out of the car and get soaked, at least we would be able to say we found this so called "Rock Park" and we would be able to see some wonderful beauty for the day. (as if my sister wasn't beauty enough!) =]
The adventure to find the water fall and have a lovely picnic by the creek bed turned into a mazda3 containing 2 very confused and lost sisters, a picnic INSIDE the car after we gave up hope of finding the actual water fall, and a short photo shoot by the creek bed where there was a designated spot to fish for trout. Thank God it had stopped raining by then. It was an amazing and very rewarding pay off in the end... I guess you could say we both have a soft spot for natural beauty like that, it just wows us.
We are going back to the apartment now and planning our night as Kell drives. She says she wants a fish, what kind of fish?? A sucky fish, aka: an algae eater... to move in with her Beta fish so he isn't so lonely. What shall we call the new one?? It is decided... Marietta shall be the name. An Italian name of course.
After we get to the apartment, and the dishes are done from the night before, we bring out the hot water, lotion, and fingernail polish to give each other pedicures. Which actually turned into KELLIE doing the painting of the toe nails when it came to that part, I’m pretty helpless when it comes to that. But as we jammed out to Rihanna, 3 Doors Down, Shine Down, and so forth... we just became young again. Back in the day when we used to try to paint our finger nails by ourselves, stealing mom's cotton balls and using excessive amounts of nail polish remover that was unheard of, with our hands and toes looking like something that would come out of an abstract art magazine, or a 2 year olds coloring book in the end. Today?? We've improved our nail painting skills, or at least Kellie has. She ended up painting both of our toe nails, but she DID consent to a foot massage. I'm glad I knew I could at least do THAT for her.
After having our traditional afternoon tea and uploading the pictures from the "Creak photo shoot" to the laptop, we decided to get all dolled up and make a night of it and go out on the town to Carrabba's Italian Restaurant for dinner, and then onto Pet's Mart to become the proud parents of our future sucky fish. But THAT was where we were wrong... surprising?? yes... worth the adventure?? Of Course. =]
With Panic At the Disco in the background, me, a stunning certain big sis of mine pimpin out our little Meada ("we have to go in style," she said), and our mouths full of conversation for the next 20 minutes, it seemed like the car ride flew by right on up until we were turning into the parking lot of the restaurant. The dinner was amazing, the restaurant packed, and the classic Italian music and soothing voice of Frank Sinatra a plenty.
The real adventure of the night started as we pulled out of the Carrabba's parking lot. The parking lot was a bit confusing, so we wound up going around the whole thing and through a drive thru window of some random bank, while a straight path would've gotten us out of there in 5 seconds. But who cares... we laughed it off and drove on. After being on the same rode for more than 10 minutes we started to question if we were headed in the right direction, and oh. my. goodnes. Here it comes... now we both have the deathly urge to pee!! Why NOW when we're lost?! After realizing that we were indeed headed in the wrong direction to get back to Bel-Air and that we needed to make a u-turn asap, we took a detour off the highway to find a place we could do our business so we didn't end up peeing ourselves in the car. I'm sure the Good husband would've really appreciated that. So after driving about 5 more minutes in the wrong direction, we decided to pull off onto exit 28 towards Towson University and try to find something there instead. As we're pulling up to a fork in the road I advise we go left cut I believe I can see a light and maybe a sign down in the direction that kind of looks like an area where a gas station would be at least, Kellie takes a right and goes about 3 more miles in the wrong direction that puts us smack dab in the middle of a rich neighborhood in the woods, with at least a gazillion churches from every religion you could think of, and a detour at the end, with NO bathroom in sight. NOOOOO!! The urge to empty our bladders is getting more demanding now, and we don’t know where in heaven's name we are at this point!! We've heard every song on the Panic at The Disco CD at least 3 times now, and our directional skills aren't getting any better. We have come to the decision that if we do not find a place with a bathroom asap then we're just going to have to do our business in the woods, and hope that there's napkins SOMEWHERE in the car. By this time it's about 8:40 and Pet's Mart closes at 9 tonight. UGH. We quickly do another u-turn, back to the fork in the road and go the direction I said from the start and that sign I said I saw before?? Winds up being a Royal Farms sign that quite possibly could have a facility inside!! So we hit it up, pull in, walk in and look around. IT'S A GHETTO ROYAL FARMS!! It has NO bathroom, but thank God... BEHIND the Royal Farms is a bowling alley that's just a short walk away, so we practically jog up to the building, whisk ourselves inside, take a right, and relieve ourselves immediately. Aaaaahhh,... carefree at last. But oh wait, look at the time!! It's already 5 minutes to 9. There's no way we're getting Marietta tonight to accompany us home, but we drive back to Bel-Air without a hassle, drive by Pet's Mart to check their hours of operation, and head on back to the bungalow to enjoy the desert we ordered to go from Carrabba's, and watch a movie on Netflix.
We decide... the movie is Groundhog Day... the desert is a light mix of strawberry, bananas, and whipped cream atop a white cake that resembles pound cake, (I can't remember what it's called for the life of me) and the movie is cute, romantic, and full of humor. After the movie, we decide to retire for the night so we can get up at a decent time tomorrow (today) and make a day of it in Baltimore getting free books and going to Ft. McHenry. I know... ideal right?? Of course right. I can't wait. =]
So then it happens... as I’m uploading some pictures of the weekend we've spent so far to the internet, I hear her yell out my name for me to come kill the intruder on her ceiling, so I rush in and do my duty. That's what little sisters are for after all I think. A lengthy convo about God, human nature, our beliefs, her son, aka: Zhong (a panda bear, compliments of the Good husband), and life in general ensues. It lasts for about an hour and 1/2 until we realize the time again, and decide we REALLY need to go to bed this time...
So where am I now you might ask?? I thought you two went to bed??... Sorry... no. Like I said, I couldn't. My day was just too perfect to end it that quickly, my mind still racing too fast to shut down for the night, and my heart full of a shpeal I felt I needed to get outta my system.
My sister... Kellie Michelle. Sound asleep in the bed we're sharing this weekend in the next room, unaware of how much this time with her means to me. The water works are trying to turn themselves on right now as I write, as I think about how fortunate and blessed I am to have her in my life. Mom is gone, but my sister is still here. Teaching me, guiding me, motivating me, pushing me to do the right things, the things i haven't the heart to believe in myself for. We are so critical of ourselves, not being able to see the strengths we have in ourselves, but sure as quick fire to see and admire the strengths in each other. By her example she teaches me wisdom, by her knowledge she gives me incite, by her lifestyle she teaches me responsibility and integrity, and by her smile she shows me a glimpse of heaven. Always faithful until the end, headstrong when she's fighting for the people or issues she's passionate about, and inspirational out the wa-zoo.
My day was beyong perfect... from the minute I woke up to every last word I write now. Not many understand me when I say beyond PERFECT. I could care less what I did today... whether we started it off with a cup of coffee or ended it with a deep convo until 2:20 am. My day was out-of-this-world perfect simply because I spent it with the most amazing sister God could have ever blessed me with... Kellie Michelle. How fortunate can i be... What more could I want???